Monday, July 11, 2011

I am 20 something and my life has no direction

The knowledge of this didn't hit me like a freight train, but rather it hit me like the way termites eat out a log--slowly, deliberately, almost imperceptibly. A few months ago, I read an article in the New York Times about an alleged new phase to development unique to Western 20 somethings aptly named emerging adulthood. Essentially, a psychologist from Clark University determined that many 20 somethings had not passed through the rites of passage (buying a house, getting married, having children) that their predecessors a generation ago had gone through by their age.

I feel as if I am in a stunted adolescence. And it must be something that I exude because I get more than my fair share of different versions of "Well, make sure to ask your parents!" I really don't feel (and hopefully don't look!) that different from how I did 10 years ago, or even 15. I still live in the room off the corner of the stairs. I still play around with (read: annoy) my sisters the same way I used to when we were kids. I still can't fully support myself. Most importantly, seven years of higher education later, I still haven't the slightest inkling of what I want to do other than travel. Yes, life is not that much different--different year, same deeds.

10 comments:

  1. I know how you feel, if I was not married. I'd be living with my parents trying to figure out what I wanted to do with my life. Instead, I'm just as confused but with a husband who sometimes gets confused when I have a strong urge to get out of the country. I still have no idea what I want to do with the rest of my life...other than travel.

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  2. Well it seems that you have a plan or at least school to keep you occupied for the moment. I'm still working on mine...

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  3. Trust me, you will figure it out at your own pace. As someone somewhat older, I will tell you that just because you reach a certain age, does not mean you have it all together. Trust me, on a monthly basis, it feels, I am wondering what path in life I am taking. I really don't think that goes away.

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  4. Thanks for the advice, Rhona. I'm looking at your picture and I find it hard to believe that you're out of your 20s.

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  5. I'm right there with ya! I feel like a kid playing dress up. It doesn't help that for years I thought "still living with your mom" was derogatory or shameful or sad or something, but now it's just the thing that makes sense.

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  6. Le Manuel, I thought the same thing until I was forced into that lifestyle. Here's hoping that economy will improve soon.

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  7. Oh, I've been there, left there and come back again. But at least you've figured out what you want to do; that's the hard part. You'll find a way to do it soon. Animo, po!

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  8. Thanks, BeeCee. I'm hoping that you're right.

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  9. Some of these "rites of passage" are simply the trappings of the American Dream. None of those examples you cite (buying a house, getting married, having children) are necessary to your maturity. In fact, I'd say that holding off on those experiences defines your character much more clearly. Falling back on the American Dream is a sign of impatience and lack of imagination. Be who you are not who you are told to be.

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  10. "In fact, I'd say that holding off on those experiences defines your character much more clearly."

    I honestly had not considered the situation from that point of view.

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